Golden Boy
by CharmyPI-5 the VIII
Summary: Things haven't been easy since Leo left, a once solid brotherhood built on trust and dependency is close to ruin, but can they save it in time? Or is it irrepairable now?
1. Fall

**a/n I never thought I would do a lot of oneshots, but here we are! I wrote this one a while ago for MarietheManiac. I decided to fix it up add a few things and put it up! Except I don't get sunshine in my stomach when I wrote this…..**

Don sat at his computer, he only had few more minutes before his shift started and he already dreaded it. He hated his job; it wasn't exactly a secret, as he tried to hide it. Milky told him many times he should quit his job. But he couldn't, they needed the money. And it was an excuse to stay up late, he didn't need it but it was better than sitting up in a chair and waiting for Raph to come home. And a excuse to drink lots of coffee. Speaking of which, he glanced over from his desk to the kitchen where his heavenous elixir maker sat on the counter. Maybe he could get a cup going before-

ON cue he heard the door slide open, the sound of grunting and groaning followed by a large yawn. The careless cracking of a motorcycle helmet being tossed across concrete floor.

So much for coffee

Now was time for his least favorite part of the night

Donnie quickly turned away from the kitchen to lean back in his seat, even though he didn't acting like he hadn't been waiting up till 5 in the morning for his older brother. But it helped him feel less 'motherly, "Hey Raph, where've you been?"

There wasn't an answer, Don turned to see Raph leaning against the fridge with his shoulder and arms crossed and facing Don. If Donnie didn't know any better, he'd think that Raph was trying to emulate a bad boy from the 50's. His eyes shifted over to him with barely a care, "Shouldn't the Golden Boy be in bed?"

Ah, Golden Boy. One of the less the affectionate nick-names Raph gave him. It was just one of the many ways Raph chose to show his anger in the past year. Don wished he could say that it was everyone he was treating like this, but it wasn't. Sure Raph wasn't tolerable to Mikey anymore either but it seemed that Raph was going out of his way just to tick Donnie off

Unfortunately, this time had paid off

"I'm getting ready to start my shift. I asked where you've been Raph."

The hiss of carbonation filled the air and a snort that clearly marked his older brother's amusement. But Don took a deep breath, turning back to his computer to type on the keys, though any numbskull could see his screen was still home the home window. Therefore, his typing was obsolete, "I'm just asking there's no law against it."

"Whatever." The nonrelated response that indicated Raph had not heard a word he had said. But merely knew Donnie HAD been talking but decided his words weren't worth the energy to listen to. That and the closing of the fridge followed by fading footsteps

Donnie wanted nothing more than to let him go,

But that's not what Leo had asked of him when he had designated Donnie leader.

He spun out of his seat just as Raph reached the stairs, "Raph, please. You're worrying everybody. Not even Casey knows where you've been going, remember him? Your best friend? "And by the third step he had reached the bottom of his stairs, "Come-on, and talk to me. I don't care where you've been going but I don't' want you going alone. I'll go, I can help. Anything is better than staying up till sunrise worried to death about you, -"but his brother had already climbed the stairs, "Come on bro, please?!" he reached the second floor. For such a muscle bounded idiot he was fast (and deploying excellent ignoring abilities). The door to Raph's room slowly closing after him, Don's hand shot into the darkness, grabbing a hold of a muscle bound arm-

Pain exploded in the center of Don's face, and the waves of copper filled his mouth. He stumbled back away from the darkened room as his shell hit the railing that kept the family from falling to the living room (which he was never more grateful for). His arm hooked up over the rail to keep from hitting the floor altogether. His free hand smothering the blood now pouring out of his mouth and the pain radiating from his head- his vision was filled with painful lights that indicated probable damage to his skull-

"DON!" Oh now Raph was concerned. If the sizzling spilled soda running over his feet was anything to go by. A hand grabbed his shoulder, "Shit shit are you ok?! I'm sorry, _shit_; I didn't know it was you. Ok so I knew it was you I just reacted-"

'Just reacted'? Well, Raph's 'Just reaction' left Donnie with an aching head and a hand full of blood. He pulled the hand away from his face long enough to check- oh yup that was a lot of blood.

"Shit, shit shit." Couldn't Raph say anything else? "Stay here I'm going to get the first aid kit." He wanted to tell Raph not to bother, but with the sound of fading running steps he knew there was no point.

And he also knew there was no point in talking.

With his arm still hooked around the railing, he slowly pulled his legs underneath him. Forcing his balance to climb back up to his feet, he leaned over the railing for a moment, struggling with the pounding through his head.

He needed to get to work

One foot in front of the other, the railing only went one way and he knew he'd hit the steps eventually

His shift started in 5 minutes

His family needed that money…

Don's shoulder bumped into the support beam that marked the end of the railing. Why the hell was he so dizzy? The steps felt like butter beneath his feet, but somehow he managed not to slip down them and wake everyone in the lair. Donnie's hands gripped the railing for all they were worth (and since he had put them in, he knew what they were worth). His feet finally hit the ground floor. Great, now to get to his desk, the sound of rushing footsteps filled the air from the open hallway again. Sounds like Raph had found the '2nd floor' med kit finally.

"Don?! Donnie where'd you go!?" Don could only roll his eyes, moving toward the back of the stairs, "Oh Dam there you are!" The footsteps hit the stairway. A hand slammed against his shell. But Don's years of training sent him putting his weight forward and the sound of fingernails barely scraping his shell, "Don,"

"Go 'way." Why were his words slurring so hard? He couldn't work like that, but the alternative was talking to Raph and giving him attention.

He'd prefer to sound like a drunk.

"I have the med kit, just look at me so I can look at your head."

What was the point? Donnie turned back to the screen his fingers moving with memory to log in his information. 2 minutes before his shift started, and he got penalized if he logged in late. He couldn't afford that. Winter was coming up, and the lair needed supplies to be prepped for the cold. Especially for Splinter-

A hand gripped his jaw tightly, a slight tug said the 'medic' (Donnie wasn't sure when they had switched roles) wanted his attention, "Dam it Don just look at me so I can fix your head. I brought your inhaler down, do you need it? I know it's been a while-"

Though it ached his head to do so, he yanked his jaw free and leaned forward. Dam it, why was the screen so blurry-

"D-Dam it Don!" there was that voice again, grating the back of his brain. Adding to the already painful pulse going through it, "Dam it Don, let me help you."

Help

_Help_?

A faint laugh escaped lazily and dropped from his lips.

"What's so funny?!" Donnie wasn't sure how Raph pulled off 'angry' and 'concerned' at the same time without rupturing his tiny brain, "I didn't mean to hit you I just reacted, I was half asleep." oh really? He wasn't half asleep when he came in, "Just say something, PLEASE. I'll listen, I swear' I will. Just tell me what's going on, tell me you forgive me. Tell me you're not mad."

And there it was.

It was what was always expected of him

Everyone around him expected the same thing

_I'm sorry Don_

_I didn't mean to break it bro_

_It was an accident_

_Can you fix it?_

_You know I need my PlayStation! Please please! It won't take long!_

_I know you're busy, but I need this fixed before our next practice? It's important_

_Common Don please help, please fix it_

_It's important! You can spare your 'precious time for us mortals_

_Donnie fix it!_

_I"m sorry Don!_

_Come 'on get over it_

_**GET OVER IT DONNIE**_

_**GET OVER IT!**_

"Go Away."  
Donnie wasn't sure when he had even spoken, but a cold silence was cast in the room, the hand that had been trying to yank his head in direction of his ' big brother' slid off slowly. It was replaced by a grip gentler grip to his shoulder. Don could just feel the quiver of his brother's fingers struggling whether or not to squeeze the muscles. Don knew this 'Raph'. Torn between his own anger, confused by it to a fault.

Donnie knew how to diffuse him.

But the problem was he didn't care.

Slowly he turned his head back; looking to the older brother he had so depended on. Donnie could remember the night Leonardo had left. That night he had been so taken by panic, the thought of all the responsibility weighing down on him. The thought of taking on two pivotal roles in the family at the same time, he almost hadn't' been surprised that he had an asthma attack. But Raph had been there he had come back from Casey and Aprils just in time. The only one to see him in such a torn state, he had gotten Don's inhaler and helped him clam down, then had stayed up for hours talking to him. A lot of the night was a blur of oxygen deprivation, breathing into paper bags, and a hand rubbing his shoulder. Most of the words were lost with the expansion of time that followed. But Donnie could remember four words that Raph had spoken that night. Being pulled into a tight brotherly hug, they had stayed with him, every night since then when Raph kept his bitter tone and attitude, when he came home drunk and needed someone to get him to his own bed.

"_**I'm here for you."**_

A hand ran back to his shoulder, a small whisper reaching him in a small act of desperation, "Bro-"

"GO. AWAY." Donnie's head swerved back over to his brother, it didn't help the ache was crawling down his spine and neck. An unbearable throb that was spreading like the bubonic plague in the middle ages.

Amber eyes bore at him; desperation lined their normally angry spark that consumed them every day. They begged for forgiveness, they DEMANDED his forgiveness. They wanted him to say he didn't care about the about the physical attack on his body, or the blood he still felt running down his face.

But Donnie didn't care.

Slowly the anguish in his eyes began to fade, a glimmer following consuming them slowly. His lips curling and a small vibrations running across his throat. Blaze consuming his eyes and the sound of popping bones in a fist he had previously dented Donnie's face. Don's head turned back to the monitor, picking up the headpiece to put in place as he pressed a button on the side, putting him on duty and back to work. And also indicating the end of their conversation.

Something emerald green shot by his head, one of his monitors exploded into a frenzy of spark and lights underneath an angry growl. A thick voice reaching his ear

"Just go and die already."

Heavy steps stomped away. Retreating up the stairs and disappearing behind a slamming door.

The Lair descended back into silence and the air lifted up from the missing tension. Don could feel the buttons of his keyboard move ever so gently under shaking fingers. He drew away long enough to rub his scalp, rubbing his mouth on the back of his hand to drain the rest of the blood, but a faint trickle indicated the still fresh flow. His limbs heavy from sudden exhaustion

Maybe he could lay his head down for a moment

Just for a moment

Just to close his eyes.

Just before he started his shift….

Just before life took anything else from him

Just a break from being the "Golden Boy"

**a/n**

I MIGHT do a 2nd chapter, but I really don't know. Maybe? You al know I love Raph and Don's brotherly relationship, but in the 2007 movie I couldn't help but think about a) How Don had less lines then April O'freaking Niel and 2) how Raph and Don's brotherhood was never really mended. But I also know it wasn't all Raph's fault In the meantime, I'm gonna go weep in my Donatello buddy pillow


	2. Form

a/n

look who decided to extend! yay?

* * *

"_**Stupid**__, 89, __**Nosey**__, 90, __**Arrogant**__-"Raph growled through curled lips, his free arm was resting on his knee, his other arm slowly uncurling with the massive weight, he could just feel his muscles swell and expanding. even in the dark of his room he could barely see the glistening sweat running down his arms, despite his methodical breathing his lips, a faint growl escaped his lips, "93, __**perfectionist**__…" he drew the weight up again._

_This was his routine, right before he hit the hay. It was a cool down that lowered his heartbeat from racing across rooftops and slamming punks head into the ground. But it was during his 'cool downs' that he was reminded he had such control over his body, to have mastered it in so many ways. It was an adrenaline his body craved every second of the day. It made it hard for him to sit still anymore, or even sit through a movie. Or even to sit through a meal without his knee bouncing uncontrollably._

_Not that a certain turtle didn't notice_

_Raph grimaced lightly at his next curl, "Golden Boy." he snarled lightly. The current 'perfect' son, the one who brought in the most money, the one who 'kept the lair 'afloat all from the lips of their father. Even from Mikey. _

_Everyone LOVED Donnie. He was the glue keeping their family together, he was the strength_

_He was a pain in the ass_

_He could still remember the day that Leo left; the three had stood in a line, Leo just in front of them. Informing them about trip, he could see Don glancing over to him with a nervous look on his face. But Raph had been prepared, glancing over to give Don a comforting smile, if he could freaking see around him, he'd do the same for Mikey_

_Raph was going to be the substitute leader. _

_There was no one else._

_He knew the responsibility needed_

_He knew what was needed of him_

_He knew_

_He was prepared_

_But he hadn't been prepared for Leos' decision_

_Raph paused for a moment, his arm slowly lowering and resting the heavy weight (he was proud that it would take even Leo to lift the weight with both hands). Without even realizing up until then he had stopped counting (but not curling) through his entire inner rant. With a small groan he heaved over, lifting the weight with his other hand, '1-"_

"_**RAPH!**__"_

_Mikey's voice screamed through the lair, Raph barely acknowledged the sound of his heavy weight slamming against the ground, the door flying open, slamming against the railing of the open hallway, his eyes shooting over the Lair in source of the chaos, "MIKEY!" _

"_Raph!"_

_There! Just under the walkway staring up at him, "What's wrong what happened?!"_

"_It-ts D-Donnie-"_

_Raph's hand grabbed the steel railing and flipped over it, landing hard on the ground before his hand went up to push on his shoulder lightly to get room._

_Master Splinter was already in Don's computer 'shell'. Raph could barely see Dons body, but Splinters hands were (Raph assumed) on Don's shoulders, shaking him, "My son you must wake up, open your eyes-"_

_NO, he swore silently, hurrying forward, nonononononononono, his hand went up to grip Splinters shoulder, moving to take his place_

_Oh Shit_

_Don's head was lulled to the side, blood ran from his lips and trickling down from his purple mask. his body slumped and arms draped over the armrests of his 'command chair. Raph's hand went up and undid the knot behind Don's mask. There was a long cut, thankfully the blood wasn't coming from his eye, but Raph still couldn't stop the tremble going over his hands, "Someone get me a first aid kit," his hands going up to hold his brothers face in his hands. The sound of retreating steps reached his ears, he wasn't sure if Master Splinter was still there but he didn't care, "Come on bro," he whispered, "Wake up, wake up Donnie." Raphs fingers poked Don's face, hoping to incur a growl of disdain or a sign of semi concousnicess, "Please, come on."_

_Wake up_

_I'm begging you _

_Wake up bro_

_Please_

_Please…._

(#)(#)(#)(#)

Breath in

Breath out

If there had anything Leo had missed during his 'excursion' to Central America, it was the simplest things that he craved. The humming of Dons computer towers that always sent to sleep on the couch, the tell tale smell of cooking cheese and rising dough.

But the most nostalgic feeling of all came from the soft touch of tatami under his sliding feet. Moving through the motions of his kata, his hands drawing together to press his palms against one another it brought back so many memories….

It reminded him he should have been back long before this.

"Your form is lacking a bit, my son."

Leo's opened his eyes, he wasn't sure how his sensei was stil able to keep up such a mastery over stealth at his age, but the dim flame showed the old rats presence, and the smile across his face. Though Leo couldn't help but bow his head low out of habit, "I'm sorry Sensei, I guess I'm still out of practice."

"Do not worry, a few days in the dojo will help you find your pace once again."

"I hope so." Leo smiled lightly. His arms stretched far above his head and enjoyed the tension of his muscles relaxing, his back bent lightly to send the same pleasure down his spine.

"Look it the overachiever. He's barely back half a week an' he's already beatin' us to the dojo."

Leo turned over his shoulder in mid-stretch, just in time to see Raph enter the dojo, smirk on his face and a arm slumped over Mikey's neck. Judging by the matching smile and current red mark on his scalp, Mikey had just been a victim of Raph's merciless noogies, "You're LATE." he reprimanded lightly

"Sorry, Mikey was showing me that new game he got, 'sumtin' Creed." his hand went up again to rub into the already sensitive spot on Mikey's scalp. The youngest yelped and emerald green hands slapped against the thick arm, "RAPH!"

"I'm jus' teasin'bro." Leo could just see Raphs arms tighten lightly in a mock embrace before releasing him. shoving him away with a grin and a shake of his head. A large rasberry filled the air from the youngest before he looked back over to Leo and bounding over to him, "Ready man?"

He even got the same smile from Raph as he settled on Mikey's other side. Leo knew that this 'eleated' 'high' would not last long, (maybe a few more days) before Raph mood would go back to normal. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing, not that Leo wasn't enjoying this 'happy' Raph. A true show of the air in the Lair

Relaxed

Happy

"Are you ready to begin my sons?"

Leo methodically found himself pressing his palms together and bowing lightly before e his muscles stiffened up. His eyes opened as she glanced up and down the line of brothers bowing brothers.

One was missing, "Where's Don?" He turned his head back down the other way to see if Don had just snuck in from over working (it wasn't uncommon and he would always have a sheepish smile on his face). But the dojo was empty over then him and his brothers and sensei.

He was a bit surprised when he didn't' get a response; he turned back to his family to find all eyes (all three of them on him). Honestly he had been expecting Mikey to maybe raise his hand and shout that he wanted to be the one to drag the smartest in. Even the youngest had bit his bottom lip glancing between Raph and Splinter in a moment of nervousness.

But the most substantial sign was the settle sound of cracking wood. The only movement in the room came from Splinters came and the death grip his fingers had latched on it. His eyes closed and muzzle titled ever so lightly

Anguish

That was the only way to describe the way his father looked-

Slowly their father raised his head again, a smile going across his face, "Donatello has not been in practice for some time now, by my orders."

"What why?" Leo looked back to his present brothers, but both still refused to make eye contact with him,

"You're brother sustained a substantial head injury, and upon the orders of Miss O'Neil, he is forbidden to participate in any of our practices or training until it has healed."

"Head Injury!? What happened?! I thought you guys weren't fighting while I was gone!? I mean," his mind went back to just a few days ago, to when he had been at the mercy of Winters 'brothers.' To the Foot Army that had surrounded the Tower, and then to the fight with the giant monster just before that ,"

"LEONARDO."

Leo snapped out of own mind, looking back to his father ,"Yes?"

"Your brother is fine, it was the reason I did not want you boys fighting while you went to the surface, and he insisted on going along to help rescue you." there was that kind smile that always eased his anxious heart, "Your brother is fine, and I would like to begin practice now."

Every inch of Leo's heart wanted to know what happened, but he bowed lightly before returning to line. His eye went over to Mikey to ensure he was okay before he looked past the youngest and he realized something that had been obscured in his near panic.

Raphael had not moved a inch, but his eyes were squeezed firmly shut, his lips curled and twitching ever so lightly as though he was talking to himself as his body remained as stiff as a board. All through practice and all through their katas. When training finally ended, the red masked brother was gone. The slamming of door marking his exit and disappearance before Leo could even ensure he was ok and Mikey was already locked in his room.

At first Leo considered just going to Master Splinter ( or standing outside Mikey's' room with fresh pizza and a fan). But both options set a tinge of uneasiness through his stomach-

A soft clawed hand pressed on his forearm, pulling his attention back to the dojo, his old father stood with a smile on his face, "I know you worry for your brothers, but why don't you go take a rest? It has not been so long since you arrived and I believe it would be good for you."

Tired? He barely knew the word but the hand over his forearm tightened ever so lightly. Leo fought the sigh in the back of his throat and sighed ever so lightly, "Yes Sensei."  
The old rat smiled ever so gently before releasing his arm and pulling away disappearing back into room, the room they came from.

Leo's hand rose up to rest over his eyes if only to alleviate to stress building up there before he looked over to the couch, though never his first idea to rest on, it did sound nice. And without anyone else to wake him up, he could lay there for a few hours.

His hand went up to loosen the strap around his eyes before sitting down on the couch, swinging his legs up and folding his arms over his chest. As he began to drift off, he couldn't even count the number of dreams he had in the jungle, of sitting on this very couch with his brothers. To laugh with them and enjoy their company. But all those nights he dreamt of home, of his family there was one thing he never thought he had to deal with

His family hiding a secret from him.

(#)(#)(#)(#)

"Ow! Be careful please!"

"I am being careful but you wont stop twitching. You're the worst patient EVR."

"I'm YOUR doctor most of the time so I don't' want to hear it."

Leo felt his face twitch at the invasion of voices into his previously peaceful mind . He rolled over the rough cushions to face the back rest, the soft blanket covering his body. Where did this come from? He didn't have it when he fell asleep-

Speaking of which

How long had he been out? The lights weren't' even off yet, but the lingering smell of searing rubber told him that Raph had alteast returned. That was good, he didn't want to hunt his brother all over the city.

A large yawn freed itself of his mouth as his palms rubbed his eyes. Sitting up and letting the blankets pool around his waist.

"Evening Fearless Beauty."

Leo couldn't stop himself from smiling his hands. But that's what Don's voice always did for him pulling his mask up from his neck to tighten around his eyes, "Thank you Captain Obvious."

"You're welcome Mr. Predictable."

"Jerk." Leo felt around the couch for a pillow before chucking it over his shoulder.

He heard the pillow collide and a loud yelping filled the air. Leo probably would of laughed if not for the fiery cushion right back in his mouth, "Ow HEY!"

"I'm treating him here! Don't do that!"

He almost laughed at his youngest brothers strict voice before he leaned against the back of the couch and draped his arm over the edge, looking back to the dining room table and feeling the smile fall right off his face.

The two youngest were sitting at the shambled together dining room table (really it was just two smaller tables, the med box was laid open at Mikey's elbow, cotton balls around and a pair of sutures in his hand, but his other hand held Don firmly by the jaw. The genius brothers mask lay around his neck and his eyes rolling lightly, they made eye contact for a moment long enough for Donnie to smile in his direction. His friendly smile that made everyone around him comfortable

Only Leo wasn't looking at his smile

His eyes were on the long scar that from Don's 'brow' down to where his 'ear' would be. Lined with tiny stiches that were currently the objects of Mikey's' sutures.

"What happened?!" he flipped over the back of the couch and hurried over to the kitchen his hand going to grip Don's shoulder, "why do you have stitches?!"

"I thought the others told you? I got a head injury."

"NO I KNOW that." Leos' hand shot behind him and grabbed the chair , pulling it and sitting down one hand grabbing his brothers wrist (whose wrist? he honestly didn't know) and glance between them for a moment," But WHAT happened?"

"Its not a big deal Leo, I was sleepy and I fell down the stairs. A couple of dental stiches and this thing right here from April and Raph and I'm good."

"That's IS a big deal." He looked back to Mikey, "Is this true?"

The youngest looked to him for a moment, if Leo didn't know any better, he would of claimed that Mikey's' skin was paler than usual, despite the smile he was giving him," It's how we found him. You know how Donnie is without coffee."

No, that wasn't right, Leo looked back to Don, was it? he really fell down a flight of stairs? His hand went up very gently to run down the side of his face, though he almost missed the flinch of pain across his brothers face, "Sorry, is it painful.?"

"Not so much. The only painful thing about is that I'm not allowed to drink coffee. Two weeks Leo, I haven't had coffee in TWO WEEKS."

Leo had the urge to claim that maybe two weeks without coffee wasn't' good enough. He looked back over to Mikey, now looking at his hands, fists tight and sutures on the table, "Mikey?"

"I-I'm sorry Leo, I-I can't do it. I can't remove s-stitches. My hands are too shaky, wi-will you do it? Please? I – I cant."

Leo reached over his hand going over Mikey's' wrist and taking his hand and the sutures from them. He remembered when Don had first started his 'medical training'. One late night he had gone to Leo's room and asked for a ear, for someone to talk to. Spewing information Leo didn't understand about medical terms he would never understand. But he had understood the franticness the near asthma attack and the very reason for his visit.

He never wanted Mikey to go through what he was going through

"Its ok Mikey." He smiled, his free hand going to pry Mikey's' open. His fingers taking the sutures, wet from the sweat and nervousness of his youngest brother, and pulling it away. Leo's hand went up to hook over the back over the back of Mikey's scalp for a moment to touch their forwards together, "You go to bed and I'll take care of the stitches."

"O-Ok." Mikey nodded before standing up slowly. His eyes going back to Don for a moment, but Leo was grateful to see Don smile. It seemed to send a calm through the orange masked brother and he turned, heading for the stairs. Leo watched his fingers drum against the table as he waited for the sounds of footsteps against stairs faded into footsteps against the metal flooring of the open hallway to nothing.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Don reach slowly for the sutures, Leo sat up in his seat and picked up the sutures, his other hand catching Don by the jaw ,"Nice try little brother."

Light brown eyes glared at him for a moment, "I can undo my own stitches, heck I can give myself stitches if I need to."

"And I learned so you wouldn't have to." Leo smiled for a moment before taking up the sutures again, though truth be told, he really didn't want to. He didn't like the idea of holding something so sharp so close to his brothers eye

But his hand was still steady.

"The dental stiches need to stay in longer right?"

"Right, April can remove some of them later, "

"Ok sure." Leo kept his eyes firmly on the stitches, "Who found you?"

"I think Raph did, or Mikey. I don't really remember a lot of it."

Leo drew the sutures away for a moment, if only to flex his fingers before returning to his job, "Then how do you know what happened?"  
"I'm just assuming I guess, I mean we did find my tooth under the stairs-"

"You WHAT!?"

"a TOOTH, just one of my molars. Its not like we have the resources to put it back in anyway .It was knocked out cleanly, and I'm healing fine. So there's nothing for you to worry about."

Logic, both his best friend and his worst enemy. Especially in the hands of a genius like Don. Leo wanted so bad to think of some sort of argument that couldn't be turned against him. But that would mean taking his focus from his job, the last of the stitches was pulled out with great relief, Taking up a white strip of bandage and placing it over the wound 'There." he smiled.

Don's hand went up to his face for a moment before smiling, "Thank s Leo. Alteast I get a cool scar out of it."

"I don't' think there's any bright side to getting your head busted open." but he could appreciate the optimism.

But the idea that such a thing had happened to begin with, just as he had so many dreams of returning home, he also had his nightmares. Splinter dying from illness, Raph getting crippled from getting in too far over his head, Mikey being left alone, or Don succumbing to his asthma.

it was the reason why he had stopped sending his letters. Why he had ignored every single one that Donnie had sent him.

He couldn't bear to get the news that he would be coming home to one less family member

Or no family at all

The sound of scraping chair against floor pulled him out of his own memories in time to see Donnie stand up, the mask pulled back over his eyes and all but covering up the wound and bandage. Leo didn't want to admit it, but he could see how he had been completely oblivious to his own brothers injury.

"You could have been killed."

The words escaped his mouth before he could stop himself. Before he could even see if Don had heard him, he bowed his head, glaring down at the bloody stitches and cotton balls that remained on the table. A nauseous sight it was better than looking at his brother, "When we went to the rooftops, when we fell through that construction site, when you guys came to save me from Winters, you could have been killed." he moved back to turn the chair, hands braced to lift himself off the chair, and disappear into his room for some much needed meditation. Anything to rid himself of this headache-

Hands fell on his shoulders and all but shoved him right back into the chair he had been trying to escape. The chair itself skidding back on two legs for a few frantic moments. Leos' hands grabbed his armrest in panic. The same hands grabbed him by the knees and slammed the chair down from its frantic skidding. Light brown eyes bore hard into his in the death glare that kept his gaze. Hard angry eyes that Leo had only ever seen in Raph, a feeling of nervousness crept down Leo's spine, desperate to get away from those furious eyes.

Slowly the anger began to fade, as though some invisible force was forcing the metaphorical beast back down into some deep place where it could stay locked up. Kindness returned, almost smiling like Don was staring down a child and not his oldest brother

"We could of died a lot of times Leo. You could have died in the jungle and we never would of known. I had to beg Master Splinter to let me come save you, but I did because I knew you would need the help. I couldn't stand the thought of my big brother being a prisoner of anyone. I would do it again tomorrow, even if the odds wouldn't turn in our favor. And a million times over because YOU are worth the risk. Ok Leo?"  
He dint like that idea, but he couldn't bring himself to look away for even a second. Slowly a smile grew across his face as he nodded. Leo put his hand on the chair for a moment to stand up, puling Don into a tight hug, his hand going up to rest on the back of his little brothers head. He felt the arms return the affection and even the pressure of Don's cheek against his shoulder,

"I missed you little brother."

Very gently he felt Don's body stiffen in his arms. Hands going up to press on his shoulder sand pushing Leo away very gently away from him, breaking the grip and Leo's touch. Though a smile remained on his face, "I missed you too Leo. But I think I need some sleep."

His arms suddenly felt very heavy, tense still from holding his brother and to be pushed away , though not curly, to see that look in Don's eyes. He couldn't finger it, but he had seen that before. But all he could do was watch Don climb the stairs, his pace steady and ready for sleep. Leo wanted to let him go, to let him sleep and brush off that tenseness on Don's previous moment of having stitches pulled out of his face.

But he knew better than that

And he found himself yelling one thing

"Is everything ok with you and Raph?"

Don ceased his ascent up the stairs, his body stiffening up again in that same manner he had when Leo had tried to hold him. That same manner that didn't match the gentle nature his brother was known for, who had spent so many nights coming ot him or Raph in the midst of a nightmare dealing with terrors, terrors that stressed his mentality and asthma. But slowly the purple masked turtle turned, looking back down the stairs and right to Leo. The smile still on his face , a smile that made Leos' stomach twist in unknown dread or feeling

"Everything is fine."


	3. Fracture

_It began in his ear_

_Under his skin, a steady rhythm. Where there was no sigh or hearing, there was that beat. It was almost like when Mikey had laid his stereo on the ground with the speakers down, feeling the beat of music under their feet._

_Under the skin,_

_in his veins_

_louder then the pain that encased his skull_

_What was that sound?_

_No_

_He couldn't hear anything…._

_It was his heartbeat…._

_"Donatello."_

_He knew that voice, that soft voice. Something brushed across his face, sending a small tremor of spasm over his skin but the touch remained. The very tip of dull claws brushed over his face again, "MY son you must open your eyes. Please, "_

_He had to? Why? Everything hurt, it hurt so bad. why couldn't he keep his eyes shut. Even if he was in pain, this was better. A blissful darkness._

_Why couldn't he stay there?_

_Forever?_

_Didn't he deserve a little bit of rest?_

_Even so_

_Don 's eyelids fluttered like the wings of a new bird. Dull light barely penetrated his eyes. Another flinch made its way across his face. Willing himself to look at his father….his eyes slowly opening like curtains before a world. A eternity before they would even focus. The room was dim in a heavenous glow. Barely illuminated by his computers_

_His fathers small form dwarfed his own. That was probably because he was lying on the floor on a thin but soft blanket. Splinters hand acting as a pillow as his eyes scanned into his, falling into relief with a gentle smile. Don could just feel his father's other hand going up to hold the toher side of his face as he was cradled close to his fathers chest. He leaned forward a bit if only to allieveate the weight in his fathers arms,_

_"Is-is he awake Dad?" that was Mikey's voice, but it was so thick, had he been tying to chug cinnamon again? He honestly wondered if they should keep a bell on the youngest-_

_Nono, that wasn't his 'I almost choked' voice. That was a voice that had been crying. Shell why was Mikey crying?! Don pulled his hand free of the blanket over him, reaching out slowly till his hand brushed against a bare knee . A separate hand grabbing his and holding it up, Mikey's , his fingers could just feel the scar between his fingers from when Raph bit them as children. He squeezed the hand with all his strength, "Y-Yeah I'm awake Mikey."_

_A small sob filled the air, Mikey must have been really scared. What happened? Why couldn't he remember anything? He allowed his eyes to close again, Splinters hand replaced by a three fingered one that was barren of fur, thick with muscles as other fingers poked at his fac-OW! that hurt_

_Then it came back to him_

_The very hand holding his head up, checking the thick padding on his face. H could remember it connecting with that very side of his face with a powerful punch. the pain that follow, stumbling back into a rolley chair._

_He could remember Raph screaming after him, the concern, a complete 180 of the anger that lead to his face being pounded in. he had tried so hard to help him…._

_Wait_

_Where the hell was his tooth?_

_Don's tongue poked around inside of his mouth, behind his canine, one of his TEETH was knocked out! That basterd made him look like Toothless! And he was certain he wasn't going to have all the appeal as a toothless dragon-_

_A hand poked his face harder, "Don't do that. We couldn't find your tooth. it needs to heal."_

_Shut up face puncher. Good thing he didn't have the dexterity to talk. But he didn't want to be lying on the ground, slowly he tensed up the muscles in his stomach to force himself into a sitting position. He felt a clawed hand take him by the knees and force him up, giving him something to lean on. Don honestly wanted to thank them but everything was just coming too slow for him to react. His arms draping around them as he panted slowly. He felt Mikey's' arms wrap around him, probably his way of helping Don sit up without exerting too much energy. Don leaned his weight over against his brothers chest , his fathers hand touched his again. Drawing his heavy eyes open to connect with his fathers, Raph just behind him and taking up more of his sight then he wanted to admit, "My child, how did this happen? Your brothers found you with blood running down the side your face and a massive head injury."_

_Yikes, it was that bad? Dons' face throbbed lightly, causing him to moan lightly. Though his face was resting against his youngest brothers chest, he forced his eyes open. Meeting with amber ones, though they lacked the anger and passion that normally filled them._

_They were regretful_

_Sad_

_His lips opening ever so gently, a hand rising to hold Splinters shoulder_

_Ready to explain_

_Ready to accept the consequences of his actions_

_"I must of fallen down the stairs." Don wasn't' even sure he had spoken till Raph's eyes widen. The room in silence, but he couldn't stop, "I-I remember wanting ot get ready for my shift, I was tired and I must of tripped. I-I remembered hitting my head but that's it."_

_"Are you sure my son?"_

_Don kept his gaze down to the ground, using every inch of his trained body to not look up. To see the confused look on Raphael's' face. he knew what was going through his older brother s mind. The confusion the disbelief. But Don allowed his head to rest, features straight and eyes firm._

_Lying to his father's face_

_Just so he could keep his promise to Leonardo._

_"Very well my child," the sincerity in Splinters voice made his chest ache, "Miss O'Neil is on her way to check your injury. Michelangelo will sit with you to make sure you stay awake."_

_Don lifted his chin to nod but an ache crept up his neck warned him against it , "Got it." he whispered. Mikey's hands slowly lowered his head down onto his brothers lap. The blanket pulled back up to his chest as a hand rubbed his shoulder. It was nice to know his little brother was so concerned, it made his eyes heavy;_

_His eyes snapped back open for a moment, just in time to see Raph climb to the top of the stair case. How did he get up there so fast without anyone noticing? His older brother paused before turning back, looking down at the two of them. No; at him. Amber eyes burning with chaos, twisting emotion. But the domineering one was obvious. The guilt that his body language sang. Disappearing behind a door into the darkness he knew Raph had adopted as his company. He lowered his head back down to Mikey's lap. Knowing Raph would get over his mistake._

_It would be a burden he would bear for weeks. With that haunting sentence lingering in the back of his mind whenever Raph glared at him or snapped at him_

**_"Just go and die already."_**

(#)(#)(#)(#)

"I don't know how I didn't notice you were missing a tooth before."

Don's hand shot back away in time to keep from burning himself on his blow torch before looking to his left and glaring up at the 'intruder' smiling at hm. His fingers reaching up under his goggles to free his eyes, "is it that obvious?"

"Not unless you're looking for it, and unless you do that thing when you bit your tongue when concentrating. "

"I don't do that." Don set his gear back down before noticing a ache in his tongue that sent his mouth into a tight line, "And don't stare at it, I'm getting a mold for it soon."

"You shouldn't, it makes you look like a turtle boxer, "

Don rolled his eyes before pressing his palms against his face to brace for a moan, "Do I have to remind you about 'Donatello's Lab Rules?"

"Do I have to remind you? One of those rules states the lab MUST be clean at all times?"

His fingers tightened around his face for a moment before pulling his eyes free. His desk was dulled with a layer of dust. In covered the entire lab that had been his sanctuary, his computer, his instruments. Things he had spent years searching and scrounging for. His eyes drew shut and a breath following filling his lungs and held

1

2

3

He released his breath before looking back to Leo with a smile, "I was just occupied, its been a long year."

Leo's eyes furrowed, looking back around the room. Don almost felt bad for the sadness in his eyes, they were regretful and said everything that the silence held. his hand going into his belt and drawing out a small square, wrapped in blue and white headphones. The bulky kind that rested over the top of the scalp in order to rest over the sides. Don recognized it immediately, "You kept it?"

"Yeah, you sent it to Central America for my birthday remember? It was a music player you specifically designed, solar powered, water proof, with all my favorite songs. This thing kept me sane for so many nights." a bashful smile made its way across Leos' face, "It didn't' even break till I dropped it in the toaster."

"The toaster? Really?" Don reached out, taking the device into his hands, yikes, it was still warm, "I can fix it for you."

"Thanks bro."

There, the pounding in his chest was slowly beginning to go away, steadily. A smile on his face as he turned back to his desk, pulling out one of his screwdrivers, "I'll get this back to you as soon as I can." He flipped the music device over, pressing the tip of the screwdriver in place. How bad could it be anyway? Actually, how could anyone make that mistake-

"is that the Battle-shell?"

Don looked back around, Leo had lifted the tarp up from a exceptionally large car, peering underneath , "Yeah-"

"This is why you didn't use it at Winters Tower? This thing was broken when I left."

Another breath,

1

2

3

exhale

One screw came loose in the device, "It was either fix that or fix Mikey's Party Van. I only had the resources to fix one."

"Why? You could of just run to the junk yard or asked April for the part."

1

2

3

exhale

"I didn't have time to go to the junkyard. I didn't want to burden April."

"Don there's so much here that was broken when I left. You could of used this stuff if a emergency came one."

"A emergency didn't come up" there, the back case came off. Yikes, some of the wiring was fried, but he could remove the memory chip. Atleast he could put it in a new one. Maybe he should. Or maybe he should just stomp on it and leave it, "And the security was updated enough to ensure we'd be warned in plenty of time. IF anything happened, I had a way for everyone to escape and a follow up hiding place for us to stay for a while."

"One could of. You had time to make me a trinket but you didn't have time for any of this? You could of taken SOME time."

1

2

3

Exhale

"I made sure I had time to repair small things around the Lair. Things that kept life comfortable for my brothers and father. I made sure we had food in the fridge and medicine. To make sure that Mikey believed you were still alive when you stopped responding to our letters. Why else would I send you something so important? It was the only way he'd believe I thought you were ok. That was my priority. More then my inventions. More then my leisure. That was what you tasked me with right?" he reached inot his desk. this music player was dead, pulling out another one. It was barely updated, he slid the memory card into place and the headphones back on.

There was silence. As he hooked the music player into his computer. It wouldn't take long to charge. Then alteast Leo would shut his mouth for a little bit. His eyes focused on the charging screen, it was better then nothing.

He could hear feet scuffle behind him, it was a sure sign of Leonardo's' feelings. A slightly apprehensiveness and questioning himself. Good. That's what Donnie wanted. Something deep down that he never allowed to the surface, if it did happen his brothers would surely never look at him the same way again.

1

2

3

Exhale

"I'm sorry Don."

There. it was so beautiful and so simple. His breathing came easier as his eyes closed, "Its not yoru fault Leo."

"That's the problem, it IS my fault. I stayed longer then I should, for no reason other then my own doubts. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Leo, let it go." he pulled the music player free, "There. This one should be better then the last one, sorry I couldn't save it.". He held the device out, the corners of his mouth rising to the mask eh had adapted a year and a half ago, a fake smile that he wore so often every, even his family, had started to mistake it for real happiness.

Leo didn't' take the device at first. But after a second his fingers wrapped around it before setting ti back on the workbench. Don's patience began to throb, ebbing away, but he forced his smile on, "Don, I know I put a lot of burden on you when I left. I didn't' feel good about asking any of my brothers to take on my role. I thought it would help giving you some time to deal with the idea rather than springing it on you."

"That's' why you gave me a 3 week warning," he remembered. But he also couldn't look at his brother, choosing to keep his gaze firmly on Leo's mask on the small tear between his eyes rather than actual eye contact. Another breath, 1,2,-no time. His breathing coming in faster than before, easy for someone like Leo to overlook in his state of concern, but hard for Don not to., "That's why you told me not to tell anyone."1,2- breathing was getting painful, " I remember."

"I thought it would help you at least, to get yoru bearings straight. But I should of known better"

Don had been focusing so hard on Leo's mask that it took all his willpower not to jump out of his skin when a hand touched his shoulder, no don't look at him. Breath. Breath

Keep calm.

Keep it down,

Choke it

Kill it

Don't let it free

1

2

"You should of asked for help Donnie. It was too much of a burden for you to keep to yourself. Your family would have been more than willing-"

1

2

(#)(#)(#)(#)

A shout of pain filed the Lair, snapping Raph away from the kitchen and from the death grip he had on Mikey's wrist to free the phone, 4 digits into "Pizza Pauls' number.

Before his mind could comprehend what was happening he was already out of the Kitchen. Just as the door to Don's lab finished slamming against the wall, the form of his older brother flying back away from the room. Raph's arm shot out and his brothers shoulders. His shoulder flew back from the force but his stance kept them both from flying over the couch and into the coffee table. blood running down from Leo's beak, leaking between his fingers, "Leo-

"I COULD OF ASKED FOR HELP!?"

Raph flinched at the loud shout echoing around the room, he wasn't' even sure when don had exited his lab but there he was, swollen fist hanging from his side, normally calm pacifist eyes blazing and burning,

"I did ask you for help! REMEMBER!? When you swore me to secrecy?! You said I could tell you if I didn't think I could handle being the leader. I DID, when I walked you to the plane, I begged you not to go! I begged you to wait till I was ready! REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID TO ME?!"

he was down from the first step. Raph spared a glance long enough to make sure Mikey was still in the kitchen, though his blue eyes were desperately bouncing between Leo and Don, alteast he was still in place. Raph, for the life of him, couldn't move, Everything about Don's stature said anger, rage, fight.

But his eyes screamed the pain

"YOU TOLD ME TO FIGURE IT OUT! THAT IT WOULD MAKE ME STRONGER! LOOK AT WHERE IT GOT ME! For 18 months I was alienated from my family, my friends, my BROTHERS! I didn't know how to handle it! Because of you I lost everything I loved and cared about trying ot 'figure it out' while you were on a 'walkabout'. I got my face caved in by the one person who promised to be there for me! Because of you I have to relive him telling me to die every dam time I see him!"

Pain shot down Raph's bones, a shock of pain and horror. The lulled , though not by much, security of knowing his little brother never remembered what he had said.

But he did

Don remember the pain

He remember what he said

Leo's knees buckled lightly, demanding his attention and keeping him in place, "Donnie-" he reached over, holding on to Leo's other arm.

Don stood there, eyes bearing on them. But Raph couldn't tell which one of them he was glaring at harder

But he couldn't tell which one of them had hurt him worse

"I'm done."

Raph raised his head again, the tears , the pain.

Irreparable

"Donnie-"

"I'm done with all of you."

"Don please-"

"I don't know why I thought I could rely on any of you. I should of known better, I was the one at fault here. I was too stupid and childish to do anything about it." His eyes turning away, storming for the metal stairs that lead up to the exit. Out of the corner of Raph's eye eh could see Mikey step from place' MIKEY DON'T-"

"But Donnie-"

Raph let loose a irritated growl, moving out to Leo's legs were more laid out, "Come and take him," When Mikey had taken his spot, "I'm going to find him I'll bring him back." he glanced up in time to see Master Splinter standing in the doorway of his room. He was a bit surprised their father hadn't said a word. But One look into those wise eyes said everything.

This was something Raph had to do

Raph started off in a dead run, up the stairs,. Bursting into the sewers, it didn't' take him long to get tot eh surface. His pace in a dead run, stinging rain shooting into his eyes like ice pics, he was surprised when the rain didn't turn to steam against his skin. But grateful for the abandoned street. Eyes burning up to the rooftops. Anything to find the tell-tale sign of a trench coat. Anything for a sight of his little brother

He was not going home without Donnie


End file.
